Two weeks ago I posted my first ‘magic moments’ post, all grand intentions, it was going to be a weekly post, filled
with positivity and plans for the week ahead. I didn’t want my Mondays to just
be the same old weekend recaps – I mean I don’t think my weekends are ever even
exciting enough for a recap. But as someone who suffers from anxiety I am
always looking for new ways to find the silver lining in situations and to make
sure I’m getting the most out of my weeks. Hence, Mondays magic moments… now 2
weeks have gone by and as I mentioned last week just kind of, didn’t go to plan, and I’ve got to rethinking the weekly post. It’s now going to be a
monthly post partly because my weeks aren’t that interesting and mainly because
I like the sound of monthly magic moments better, so check back in a couple of
weeks to see how I’ve got on in my mission to add a little bit of happiness to
my days.
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| entirely unrelated duck and daffodils - spring is here! |
Magic moments don’t have to
be created through goals or challenges though, and I am a firm believer that
even the most negative or worrisome of tasks can have positivity buried within
them.
Over
the last couple of weeks I’ve had a fair few jobs to do both for work, Camp America
and just day to day life that have been causing me anxiety. A good example is
my embassy appointment last week, It was a new situation, in a new environment
with something pretty important relying on me completing everything successfully
– my visa. Safe to say, I was pretty darn nervous. Equally my friends were sick
of hearing me whinge on about all the possible things that could go wrong, what
if I slept in and missed it, what if I couldn’t find the embassy, what if they
decided they didn’t want me to get a visa. Yup, there were a lot of worries going through my head and
a fair few sleepless nights over something that I now know to be not even a
little bit tricky. However, amongst all my worrying I found myself hearing the
same thing over and over again from well-meaning friends.
“Don’t worry about it, think positively”
Now I don’t know about you
but I’ve heard that advice a million times in my life time and I’ve never quite
got it. To start with, if I’m half way through a panic attack and imaging every
possible horrific scenario – how exactly do you expect me to suddenly start
imagining everything going perfectly? And on the occasions that I did think ‘positively’
and imagine success I was often faced with disappointment at the other side. If
the reality of the situation didn’t live up to my imaginary one I was left
feeling distinctly let down. The reality could never live up to the imagined.
So, I propose another way to
approach those anxiety ridden situations. I thought that doesn’t force you to
think positively, in fact some might say its negative. For me though, it works.
“Imagine the worst that
can happen”
Now we’ve all heard the
saying ‘what’s the worst that could happen?’ which challenges you to consider
what could go wrong, but is often presented to you in as an offhand comment. I
know I often hear “Now Molly, don’t worry so much, think positively, what’s the
worst that can really happen?” I don’t know why people even ask me to be honest;
I can definitely create a worst case scenario.
I say screw them. Imagine
the worst that can happen, and I’m talking the absolute worst. Going to school
with no clothes on, calling the teach mum and peeing yourself all in the same
day worst. Imagine that hideously horrible event, feel every emotion, genuinely
live that worst case scenario in your head. It’s a safe happy place, mines
normally filled with cute pictures of cats and lavish travel plans, so if you
can test out things going wrong anywhere your imaginations a good place to
start. Act out all the different scenarios in your mind and test out all the
reactions you could have and come to terms with any unknowns in the situation.
I know it sounds like a
negative attitude but I’ve found I can then tackle whatever event is worrying
me with a new sense of confidence. No matter what happens I’ve already lived
through the worst, I know I can handle it because really, our imaginations are
capable of concocting far worse scenarios than the real world is ever likely to
show us. If you can survive your own imagination you can conquer your fears and
step out into the world ready to take on any challenge.
You should always try to
find the positivity in the negative and turn the fear into a magic moment. I’m
learning increasingly that nerves and excitement are one and the same they both
fill you with the adrenalin needed to take on a situation, and equally (at
least for me) dread at what is ahead. I think that as long as you handle your
nerves successfully then both can be crucial parts of moving forward, and can
even prove to be the energiser for your success. I can think of countless
presentations at uni that I’m sure looking back, wouldn’t have been half as
good had I not had those nerves there reminding me to try my best.
This has felt like a weird
post to write, and ironically one I’ve felt pretty anxious about, to lay out
one of my coping methods for criticism on the internet feels far from safe. Yet
in an effort to seek new ways of understanding my anxiety I wanted to open up
and put it out there. I would love to know if you have any tips for overcoming
nerves or anxiety. Do you think positively, or like me, find imagining the
worst a better strategy?
